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The Perfect Family - Part III

Welcome back to the Perfect Family Series, where parenting is depicted in as honest a light as possible, highlighting, in particular, those memories which many of us attempt to lock away in the deep dark cellar of our minds, but will appreciate memories of when retirement finally comes and can dedicate all of our free time to taunting our children with embarrassing toilet stories.

I wonder what she wants

The above image is one which speaks for itself. Countless parents have encountered the same moment where a quick trip to the shops, which started out so wonderfully, quickly takes a turn to the more sinister side of human emotions... when your child lays eyes on the oh-so-tempting Pick & Mix counter (cue Darth Vader theme with fit-inducing strobe lighting).

Subscribers to the blog will see a couple of bonus images related to this wee trip to my local culinary sales establishment (in the mood for inventing unnecessary terms José?). But to briefly recount, my little jelly bean of a daughter was so excited to come to the shops with me that she sprang off the sofa, snatched her life companion (a teddy called Mia) away from the parquet floor which its face had been viciously forced onto just hours earlier, and made a beeline for the front door. 

Fast forwarding through the eventful walk to the shop, where several cats and bees were the topic of excited discussion, we arrived at our local shop and made our way down the aisles, with Selma excitedly clutching at anything which contained a semblance of colour or shape and slung the poor items into the trolley. She enjoys this, and so I allow her the pleasure of popping any item she likes in there, before snatching it away when she is distracted. This makes for a delightful trip to the shops. We are also very lucky in that they keep mini shopping trolleys which she can boss around and navigate around the store (amazingly without nipping at anybody's ankles).

Note the squashed teddy bear with pink feet

She generally carries all of the contents of our mini shopping trips, so she follows me around, happily organising the items I hand her into neat piles next to Mia, the teddy which tends to sit up in the corner, blissfully enjoying a moment of calm (before metallic items come raining down like a speed-fueled napalm shower). However, the same story plays out with every trip. I arrive at the counter, ready to pluck Selma up, pop her onto the bench next to the conveyor belt and help her to lay out the items so they can be counted and paid for, only to see that she is nowhere to be found. Except, I know exactly where she is. Taking a few steps backwards and turning the corner, I take out my camera and click the shutter, revealing this week's image... one which will always remind me of the immense conflicts of childhood. Joy at seeing the colourful delights which are craftily guarded in their glass cages, cheekily showing their forbidden fruits to all who are short enough to see them at eye-level. Surely this time, my loving father will not be able to resist my tricks, the eyes gleaming with puppy-like desperation, shoulders slumped enough to imply a potential meltdown of cataclysmic proportions should he refuse my request. She seemed so confident. She always does...

I'd like to say a quick thank you to those of you who have committed to reading upcoming episodes by subscribing to my blog. All of my wonderful subscribers will receive not only an email alerting you to a new episode being released, but I will also include some additional content in the form of beautiful images related to the current episode. So please sign up if you have enjoyed these 3 parts and I look forward to sharing even more moments with you.